spending time with you today was as bittersweet as can be.
i felt something while i was with you. a sense of nostalgia and an emotion reminiscent of both happiness and sadness at the same time. a longing for something that used to be, filled with emotion and memories not soon to be forgotten.
and then we parted ways, and the nothingness returned. i found myself longing to feel such things again despite the tragic circumstances in which things ended. but it was all real, and your very presence encapsulated the entire experience yet i’m unable to remember any of the emotions without you here.
i have become a dark hole and i’m afraid it will soon swallow me but i can’t help but hope that you might be able to help save me.
it is easier to think of reasons to die than it is to think of reasons to live.
i want to cry but no matter how hard i try to recognize all the things that should bring me down, i cannot get myself to feel sad or any other emotion for that matter.
it is killing me painlessly and i dont know how to fix myself.
i’d rather feel pain then the nothingness that has taken over inside of me
slowdance on the inside
to feel nothing is no longer a relief, but a curse that i cannot escape.
time to get back to that bboy grind.
i am so broken